When Big Feelings Happen in Small Bodies

Some children feel everything more — louder, deeper, longer. A small disappointment can become a full meltdown. A tiny change in routine can unravel the whole day.

If that sounds familiar, you’re not imagining it. Your child isn’t being dramatic or manipulative. Their nervous system is simply doing its job — sounding the alarm that something feels unsafe or overwhelming.

In these moments, our instinct is often to reason with them: “It’s not a big deal,” or “You’re okay.”

But that skips an important step. Before they can listen, calm down, or take your advice, their body needs to feel safe again.

That’s why co-regulation matters.

Sitting nearby. Speaking gently. Holding the boundary without pushing harder.

These are the tools that soothe the system and bring your child back into connection — not just obedience.

It’s not always easy. But the more we understand the “why” behind the behaviour, the more compassion (and clarity) we can bring to the “what to do.”