How Routine Can Calm Big Emotions

Hi everyone,

Welcome back if you’ve been following along from last week, and a big hello if you’re new here.

Each week I share small, practical ideas to help you understand your child and make daily life a bit calmer and easier.

If you haven’t already, you can still join the free ADHD mini course.

It’s a short introduction packed with useful strategies for families raising kids who feel things deeply and struggle with big emotions.

And remember, you can ask me a question anytime through the Ask a Q page whenever you need a bit of direction or reassurance.

Why structure and routine really matter?

This week’s focus is on routine. For children with ADHD, routine isn’t just about keeping things organised. It helps them feel safe and grounded. When life feels predictable, their nervous system can relax.

Many of these kids find it hard to hold multiple steps in their head. When you say “get your shoes, grab your bag, put your lunch in”, they often get lost halfway through.

It’s not defiance; it’s overload. Their brains are wired differently and need more external support.

How to make it easier?

This is what I call proactive parenting. It’s about staying one step ahead so your child has what they need before things fall apart.

Try a few of these ideas this week:

• Visual routines on the fridge or wall. Let them see what’s next rather than remember it.

• Timers and reminders. Many kids with ADHD have trouble judging time, so visual countdowns or timers can really help.

• Predictability over perfection. You don’t need to get it right every day. Just being consistent enough helps your child feel more secure and builds healthy habits over time.

Tackling tricky transitions

Every family has certain stress points. Getting out the door, turning screens off, leaving the park, or winding down at bedtime.

These transitions are hard because kids get stuck in what they’re doing and struggle to shift gears.

Try chatting about it when they’re calm. You could say, “I know turning off the tablet is hard.

What would help make it easier next time?”

Giving them some control can make a huge difference. You might agree to follow screen time with a snack, a game outside, or a quiet activity they enjoy.

The goal is not to remove every bit of frustration but to help them move through it with more support and less chaos.

A small challenge for the week

Pick one time of day that usually feels stressful. It might be mornings before school or the after-school crash.

Add a little structure around that moment. Maybe write the steps out, set

up a visual cue, or plan something calming straight after. Then see what shifts.

Parenting kids with ADHD isn’t about being perfect or endlessly patient.

It’s about understanding what helps them feel safe, capable, and connected. And the more structure we build in, the easier it becomes for everyone.

If something from this week resonates or you’d like me to write about a specific topic next time, I’d love to hear from you.

You can share your feedback or send a question here.