Big Emotions and Why Kids Behave the Way They Do
This week, I want to talk about something I see so often in my work with families.
Parents come to me saying their child seems intense, unpredictable or quick to react. They might be struggling to follow instructions, getting stuck in routines, or becoming easily overwhelmed.
It can be hard to know what’s really going on, and it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking it’s about attitude or motivation.
But for many of our highly sensitive children, it’s actually about delay.
They often have delays in their executive functioning, which is the brain’s management system. It’s what helps us plan, stay organised, follow instructions and move through routines.
When that system develops more slowly, our expectations can accidentally outpace what they are truly capable of in that moment.
So a 10-year-old might function more like a 7-year-old when it comes to managing emotions, remembering steps, or handling frustration.
When we adjust our expectations to meet them where they are, things begin to shift. Life feels calmer. Interactions feel easier. And children start to experience success instead of constant correction.
What helps
-Visual routines help because many kids can’t hold multiple steps in their mind at once. Pictures or short written lists give them something solid to rely on.
-External structures such as reminders and consistent routines build the scaffolding they can’t yet hold internally.
-Empathy over punishment allows us to move from reacting to supporting. Understanding the “why” helps us respond with calm rather than frustration.
-Repairing after ruptures matters most. We all lose it sometimes. What’s powerful is coming back, taking responsibility, and reconnecting.
These children often need more of us. More calm. More scaffolding. More understanding.
They are not “too much”. They are simply wired in a way that asks us to slow down and see them differently.
I’d love to know what would support you most.
And remember:
You can ask a question anytime here.